it just is

Perfectionism is a dream killer, because it’s just fear disguised as trying to do your best. It just is. 

 ~Mastin Kipp

 I came across this quote today on Pinterest and traced it back to the original writer.  I love it.  I need it framed, sticky-noted, and glued on every surface I am in contact with.  It was this idea that kept me quiet for so long.  Though I have to be gentle I feel the roughness of my words; the forced nature in which they are scripted.  And I am not dying from sheer boredom. yet. I have to remember this is necessary.  Growing pains don't tickle.

Perfectionism is weird.  If you looked in my car, walked through my home, looked at my daughter's face or God forbid under her nails, perfectionism will not be the first word that comes to mind.  That is why this quote is so amazing.  It speaks of fear. I "get" fear.  When driven by it, I freeze.  Through my experience, life has taught me that nothing in my life can be changed by thought alone.  No matter how hard I try.  I must take the action.  For the past 10 years I have thought about writing a book.  Never once did I write anything in regards to achieving that.  But I sure thought the shit out of it. And yesterday, finally, I sat down for 20 minutes and allowed some words to get down on screen so I can start, continue and one day perhaps finish a book.  Whether it sees the light of day or not is none of my business.  So long as I continue to displace fear with action this is a very real possibility. The only thing that changed? I stopped thinking and instead took a little action.  So small and so simple and it felt so, so good.